i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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