Dual....:-)
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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