I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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