I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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