so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
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Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm both gender and math confused
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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