so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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