I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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