Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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