Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize