Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
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She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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