dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize