Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize