i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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