I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize