the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
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OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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