I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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