just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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