i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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