I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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