Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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