nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize