Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She told me I should be a condom model.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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