it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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