just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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