I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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