If i come over, it means nothing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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