Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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