You're completely useless in the revolution.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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