well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize