That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize