this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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