i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
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Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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