Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
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We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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