He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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