Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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