why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
birth control should be required to get into college
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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