Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
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My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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