I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize