Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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