areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
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Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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