If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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