is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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