Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize