whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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