Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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