so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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