Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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