listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize