OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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