my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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